So you made a cake to bring to a friend who was making you dinner. They asked if you could make it dairy-free, so you triple-checked your recipe. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, you’re the dinner party villain because… it had eggs. That’s the drama Reddit user Sea-Neighborhood6638 walked into when her thoughtful dessert sparked a meltdown over what, exactly, counts as dairy.
In the now-viral post on r/AITAH, an unfortunate dinner guest recapped how she got into a milk-fueled debate, saying: “My friend invited me over for dinner. Our tradition is to bring food when invited to dinner. I asked if I should bring a dessert. She said that would be great, but it needs to be dairy-free because her daughter stopped eating dairy.”
She continued: “I know a great cake recipe with no dairy. I brought it to the dinner and it was a big hit. My friend asked for the recipe and I told her. When I got to the eggs, her daughter became upset and ran upstairs.”
“My friend asked why I put eggs in the cake. I said the eggs were responsible for the spongy texture. She said the cake wasn’t dairy-free. I said it was. There is no milk or milk products in the cake, no cheese, no butter, etc…”
“My friend said, ‘Eggs are dairy.’ I was confused. Dairy is milk and milk products, to my understanding. She said, ‘Dairy is anything that comes from an animal.'”
Right. Riiight.
“I asked if honey is dairy, then. She said no, because bees are insects. I apologized, but I could tell she was still upset.” So Sea-Neighborhood6638 turned to the Reddit community for judgement, “Am I the asshole? I’ve never heard of eggs being dairy before.”
Curious Redditers immediately swarmed to this story, because whether you or someone you love has dietary restrictions, you know the drama they can cause… and many people sided with the cake maker. User TarzanKitty shut down the OP’s (original poster’s) concerns quickly: “Eggs are not dairy. If she wanted vegan, she needed to say vegan.”
Candid-Solid-896 said plainly, “I think that mom is confused about the terminology.” And Defiant_Ingenuity_55 brought the logic hammer: “When people can show you a cow laying an egg… I’m lactose intolerant, eggs are not included.”
Others speculated this wasn’t a misunderstanding — it was misdirection. “Yeah, it sounds like she didn’t want to say her daughter is going through a vegan ‘phase’ and instead said no dairy, like to sound like an allergy almost?” wrote daydreamingofkittens. Yikes.
According to some, this cake drama begs a question that goes beyond baking into something more existential… “English is a language we share in common to communicate with each other,” said tha_4101, continuing: “It boggles my mind how many people think they can just make stuff up.”
But other folks sympathized with the friend’s confusion and had their own explanations for where their lines got crossed: “I bet it’s because of the ‘dairy aisle’ at the grocery store,” noted cele311. “I thought the same thing when I was a kid.” Others referenced the old-school food pyramid that lumped eggs and milk together, giving ‘80s kids a lifetime of nutritional gaslighting.
Accurate-Arachnid-64 took that argument even further, taking the friend’s sid, commenting: “You are the asshole. Dairy regularly refers to eggs and milk products, even if dairy is just milk and milk products. It’s been that way since the 1870s.”
Even Redditors’ spouses weighed in, with one user sharing: “I just asked my husband if eggs are dairy… he said yes……. when I asked him how they are dairy he went ‘derriere.’” So at least someone’s getting laughs out of this.
Johnniegirl1970 came to this wise conclusion: “The real issue wasn’t the cake, but the communication.” They elaborated: “While eggs are considered an animal product as far as vegetarians and vegans are concerned, they are not considered a dairy product, which are made from the milk of mammals, such as cheese, yogurt, sour cream, and those kinds of things. Your friend needs to understand that, and she needs to explain that to her daughter.”
For the next dinner party (if there is a next one), one commenter had a piece of advice for the OP: “I’d bring wine next time and ignore the kid.”
But I want to know: how would you feel in the cake maker’s shoes? What do you think qualifies as dairy? Let us know in the comments!
For future dinner parties (if she’s ever invited again), download the free Tasty app, where you can follow step-by-step instructions for over 7,500 recipes — no subscription required.