Welcome to Only Good Internet, where “I saw this on TikTok” actually counts as journalism.
There is an epic journey happening right now on Reddit, and you might not even know it’s happening. And it’s about chives. You see, redditor u/F1exican created a simple post about a month ago, involving a cup of chopped chives:
The first post failed the test:
And so, u/F1exican — now colloquially known as “Chive Guy” — started a series that has continued for more than 35 days straight (minus a few days when he had car trouble and couldn’t get to work, where the chives are).
Each day thus far, at least one commenter has found a flaw, somewhere:
And Chive Guy now has an arch nemesis, who made this very dark joke about a pair of very long, tower-esque chives in one of the photos:
And so now “Plane Guy” is part of the story. The whole thing went so viral that Philadelphia Cream Cheese put out this ad on Reddit:
That’s how you know you’ve made it. Anyway, you can see more in r/KitchenConfidential, just about every thread is filled with absolute gold in the comments. I’ll leave you with this one:
…That time slows down when we see or learn something new. If you’ve ever wondered why a day spent lazing around on the couch, binging old episodes of The Office, and doomscrolling flies by — while a day spent at work goes by sooooooo slowly — it’s because of the “novelty effect”:
Basically, when you see something memorable or new, your brain takes the time to record more details about the event, because your brain is like, “Ooh, a new thing! We’re learning something! Yay!” Because of that, time will seem to go more slowly. Think of it like file sizes on a computer: If there’s more detail in a photo, it’ll be a larger file and will take more time to save. Less detail, faster save.
So if you think about how time seems to fly by when you’re older, whereas when you were a kid an hour felt like an eternity, it’s probably due to this effect. So, pick up a new hobby (or just do something difficult) and your days will feel longer!
Here is an illegally smol, newborn baby turtle. Pic captured by the turtle’s owner, u/Franko399:
Apparently, there’s an app where you can point your phone camera at some food and it’ll estimate how many calories are in it. But, uh, there’s a downside:
I always like to finish every week with something that I MUST share with you, because I can’t get it out of my head. This week, it’s all about this choice:
That’s all for this week, see you later! And remember, if you want more like this, you can subscribe to the Only Good Internet newsletter (if you want, I mean, don’t let me tell you what to do, ya know?).