The holidays can be stressful — dinners to cook, parties to host, events to attend, and shopping to do. There are finances to manage and work schedules to balance. On top of it all, seeing family you don’t often see (or even family you do) can be overwhelming. And that’s assuming you’re in a good headspace. Add a job loss, a recent breakup, or a sibling tiff, and family gatherings can amplify how poorly you’re feeling, making everything worse.
But even if you’re doing well personally, it doesn’t mean your family is. They can dampen your happiness or try to drag you down to their level. And even if you genuinely want to enjoy the holidays, it can feel nearly impossible when past experience hasn’t proven your family can give you that.
Maybe your mom always comments on your weight. Maybe your dad drinks too much holiday punch. Maybe your sister makes condescending remarks about your job, or your brother is always late. Maybe your grandmother makes snide comments about how you parent your kids, or your parents give them sugar after you’ve specifically asked them not to. Whatever the situation, family dynamics can be challenging.
No matter how chaotic your personal life or how wild your family is, the holidays can still be a whirlwind. So…I’m not asking how to prevent a stressful holiday season — I’m asking how you cope with it. What happens will happen; it’s how we manage our own emotions and expectations. That’s what truly matters.
So my question is: how do you deal with your family during the holidays? You don’t need to be a mental health professional or life coach to answer (though professional advice is always welcome). How do you manage your emotions when it comes to the stress of family during the holidays?
Do you book extra therapy sessions before and after a visit with your siblings? Skip staying at your parents’ house and opt for a hotel instead? Leave before 11 p.m. because your sister’s boyfriend gets angry drunk after the moon is high in the sky? Or set a strict gift-spending limit to avoid reliving the family drama of 2011?
No matter what it is, I want to hear it. If you’re comfortable, share your holiday-coping strategies in the comments. If you prefer privacy, you can use the super-easy anonymous form below. We’re all navigating the holiday season together, and any advice or insight for handling family dynamics is greatly appreciated.