Sex Therapists Are Sharing Tips For Achieving Your Best Sex Life Yet, And Some Of These Might Surprise You

5. They masturbate during sex. 

Here’s a dirty little secret about relationship sex: Masturbating is much more fun when you’re not doing it alone. Plus, in the process, your partner gets a master class on the most reliable ways to please you, said Shannon Chavez, a psychologist and sex therapist in Los Angeles.

“Couples that masturbate together stay together,” she said. “Showing a partner how you touch your body gives them insight into how you want to experience pleasure. It puts you in control of your own desire and allows your partner to participate in your pleasure.”

6. They explore each other’s fantasies. 

In the words of sex columnist Dan Savage, the best sex partners are “good, giving and game.” In other words, they’re skilled in bed (thanks to a lot of practice), they’re generous, and they’re willing to try out whatever their partner’s into, within reason.

The three G’s are especially important in long-term, committed relationships, in which things can easily become stagnant in the bedroom, said Hirschman.

“Long-term couples with hot sex lives know that each person has their own unique erotic imagination,” she said. “They’ve learned their partner’s deepest fantasies and desires and are willing to stretch outside their comfort zone a bit to give their partner what they really, really want in bed.”

7. They kiss and touch throughout the day, just to show they care.

A playful pinch on the butt or kiss before work matters more than you think. Putting a premium on non-sexy-time touch is a great way to remind your partner that you’re content and still very much attracted to him or her, Chavez said. 

“When you touch each other, you feel more connected and loving toward one another. It shows you want to be close to a partner,” she said. “In short, people that caress, hold hands, kiss, massage, rub and stroke each other without the expectation of sex tend to be more relaxed, aroused and sensually connected as couples.”