Pet Owners Are Sharing The Shocking Ways Their Pets Are Little Geniuses, And It’s So Cute

17.

“My dog had major surgery and was recovering in his protective onesie and cone of shame. Deeply upset, high as giraffe balls. The meds made him nauseous, and I couldn’t get him to eat, which made everyone upset. Enter the black cat, who had, up until that point (two years), treated the dog like an unwanted houseguest she couldn’t get rid of. She looked at the sad pile of dog on the carpet, turned around, and walked into the garden. Not 20 minutes later, she drops what I can only describe as a filleted mouse torso in front of the patient. She’d chewed off the head and the appendages, and basically presented him with only the juicy bits. Before I could do a damned thing, my dumbass dog horked his bloody gift down and the cat was out the open patio door again.”

“For the next two weeks, no matter how I tried to keep every door and window closed, nothing could stop her. I have no idea how she managed it, but she’d wait for me to take my eyes off them for a second, and BOOM, new corpse on the floor, happy dog. She seemed to know exactly how fast I could get to any location, and timed her drops perfectly. I threatened/told the people in the house daily to make sure she couldn’t get out, or in with illegal cargo, but we were all just laughable pawns in her game of chess. She’d go to the other side of the house, make a ruckus, and when we’d go investigate, she managed to get around us and to the dog with his lunch.

Two motherfucking weeks. Every single day. At least three lightly prechewed mice. It was as revolting as it was adorable.

At the end of the two weeks, she stopped removing bits from the mice and started dropping them whole, until one day she dropped a very alive one and flounced off while chaos reigned in the living room. That was the day she (and the vet) declared the dog healed, and she went right back to slapping the shit out of him if he tried to play.

She did this for every subsequent surgery the dog went through, and when I had my hysterectomy two years ago, I came back from the bathroom and on my pillow was a lightly flayed and prechewed mouse.

I miss that cat.”

—Pledgeofmalfeasance