People Who Divorced In Their First Year Of Marriage Are Revealing The “Final Straw” Moment That Ended It

4.

“She was emotionally cheating on me with a friend for about 10 months and had had multiple physical affairs I never knew about. We’d been together five years, living together for three, and had a house together. We got married last June, then in September, our mutual friend, with whom she was having an emotional affair, gave her an ultimatum of either leaving me for him, or he would break things off. She freaked out and wrote me a letter about how she had been having this emotional affair since our engagement, six months before the wedding, and it was going strong, but she wanted to be honest with me and tell me herself. … I decided to stay with her and give couples therapy a chance because I was raised that you don’t just give up on a marriage. After all, a situation gets difficult, or someone makes a mistake. Through that, though, she ultimately confessed that she had several physical affairs in the past five years.”

“Her last long-term relationship broke up because she had a sexual affair with him. She has been cheating in every relationship, ever. By January of this year, it was clear that her issues were a lot deeper than I was equipped to handle. The divorce went through a week or two ago. Ultimately, what happened was awful, but at least now I know, and my mutual friend and I talked everything through. We’re not friends by any means, but we have an understanding. When I first found out, I definitely blamed him, but now, knowing everything, I’m 99% sure she pursued him for the attention and preyed on his existing struggle to find a solid long-term partner, I have better empathy for the situation he found himself in and am grateful that 1) he was the kind of guy to not take it physical, and 2) I found out when it was still early days of the marriage, and I had time to get out. No kids, no obligations, really. 

It sucks starting over again and losing five years with the wrong person, but at the end of the day, it is what it is, and I know I did everything I could to save the marriage and made the right choice for me. Oh, and the day I moved out, she was blowing up his phone (though he had blocked her), then got a friend to call him from their phone so he would pick up, not knowing it was her, and he blocked her again. And when I pushed through the divorce paperwork, she was blowing up my phone, but I later found out she had two other guy friends over at the house for ’emotional support.’ Yeah, fun times, but pretty sure I dodged a bullet in the long term.”

—Anonymous, 29, California