People Are Slamming The Worst Weddings They’ve Ever Attended, And Woooooooof

23.

“I went to a dry wedding. That’s not just a description of the drink situation but the entire affair in general. It was in a tent, in summer, in the south. The dress code specified that men had to wear jackets during the ceremony. Women couldn’t have ‘overly exposed’ shoulders or low cuts. Linen was not allowed. The ceremony took about two hours and included multiple speeches by the bride, groom, and the minister. Both fathers sang gospels. The best man played acoustic guitar for about 10 minutes. The guests had to reconfigure the tent after the ceremony for the reception while the wedding party took photos. We found out there were assigned seats when the wedding planner went table to table and called out who was to sit where. We would be released to the buffet by the bride/groom, table by table. They stopped to chat at every table, take pics, etc.”

“There was no dancing. The location was by a lake with a dock and patio area down by the water. We were to stay in the tent. More speeches were given. The bride and groom paused, releasing people to eat for each speech. The sweet tea was weak. The bride’s father gave a long speech in which he only mentioned his daughter twice, and both times were about giving his son-in-law healthy baby boys. The best man played guitar again. The cake was in the sun. The buffet had dry BBQ that the groom and his new father-in-law had smoked the day before. All brisket. The sides were just mac ‘n’ cheese and salad. 

I left between when my table got released for food and the cake cutting, partially because I was starving, partially because I had 100% sweat through my entire suit, and partially because I’d arrived six hours ago. My +1 (a family friend) and I went with my mom to an Applebee’s or something nearby. At least a dozen of the tables had other guests we recognized. I swear I saw a woman cry when they brought her a margarita. We heard that the reception continued late into the evening, including the bride and groom asking the (remaining) guests to all share a memory they had with them. They spelled my name wrong on the thank you card.”

—u/NoahtheRed