We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the dumbest thing they ever heard someone they were dating say. Here are the dumbest (and funniest) things they shared:
1.
“I dated a guy in my younger years who prided himself on being a womanizer. One day, he bragged that he was a ‘connosis’ of women. Totally confused, the wheels in my head started spinning. Then I said to him, ‘Do you mean a connoisseur?’ He said, ‘Oh yeah, that’s it.'”
2.
“I once dated a guy, and we decided to go skiing. We were sitting on the chairlift side by side going up the mountain, and I told him that at the top, we should get off the chairlift to the left. He responded, ‘Your left or mine?'”
3.
“I was in the hospital, and my boyfriend at the time sent me a text with a picture of an ear of corn that he just peeled and asked if it had gone bad because it was yellow. He thought it turned yellow from cooking. He was 40!”
4.
“In college, I was dating a sweet guy who worked in town, whose parents were perhaps not the brightest bulbs. We were hanging out in the living room when his dad arrived home from a doctor’s appointment. He’d had a prostate exam, and his wife, my boyfriend’s mom, was cracking up and egging him on as he described his discomfort in great detail. Finally, my boyfriend’s dad could take it no longer, and he yelled at her, ‘OK, we’ll just see how YOU like it when it’s YOUR turn for a prostate exam!’ My sweet, dumb boyfriend exclaimed, ‘Yeah, Mom!’ with great indignation, and that’s how I knew it was time to break up.”
5.
“I asked a woman I was dating, ‘Are you on the north or south side?’ She said, ‘It depends on which way you’re coming from!'”
6.
“I was a freshman in high school, dating the prettiest girl I had ever met. We were in Earth Science together and had an assignment where we had to piece Pangea back together. She looked at me, deadly serious, and said, ‘Why is it called Eurasia?’ I had to explain that the landmass included both Europe and Asia.”
—Anonymous
7.
“My boyfriend at the time thought that when people say they bought a house with ‘cash’ that the buyers actually brought in bags of cash to pay for the property.”
—Anonymous
8.
“I texted my ex, ‘benign!’, as I had gotten the results from a tumor biopsy. His response? ‘I thought that place closed down a long time ago?!’ He thought I was texting about the old restaurant, Bennigan’s.”
—Anonymous
9.
“Someone I was dating asked me, ‘When is your twin sister’s birthday?’”
—Anonymous
10.
“I dated a guy who once asked me why I ‘use so much toilet paper’ every time I come over to his apartment. I asked him to elaborate on what he meant by that, and he said there was no need to wipe every time and wanted to know if I was just wasteful. I had to inform him that women do indeed have to wipe every single time we pee.”
—Anonymous
11.
“My ex, when I told him I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts, said, ‘Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative things, too? This is why Republicans say they hate colleges! Y’all could fix politics so fast.'”
—Abcdg
12.
“My washing machine went out, so I had to take my clothes and towels to a laundry mat. I handed my boyfriend a basket of clothes and told him to go ahead and put them in any washer. He said, ‘Which one is the washer?'”
—Anonymous
13.
“I left my home state of New Mexico and moved to California in the ’80s. I had a couple of dates, not just one, who asked me if we had running water, outhouses, and if we did all of our cooking outside (assuming we didn’t have electricity or gas). One guy asked me if New Mexico is in Mexico. WTH???”
—Anonymous
14.
“An ex of mine was having body odor issues, so one day I brought it up in the nicest way possible by asking him what his favorite deodorant brand was. His reply? ‘Men don’t wear deodorant, only women do.'”
—Peig77
15.
“During the major blackout in NYC back in the early 2000s, just as the grid went down, my brother was driving home with a girl he was dating. Baffled, she asked him, ‘How is your car still running if all of the power is out in the city?'”
—Anonymous
16.
“I said I was gonna make whole-wheat bread, and he asked if he should buy whole-wheat yeast.”
—Anonymous
17.
“My first boyfriend thought that a woman’s breasts inflated during sex like a man’s penis does.”
—Anonymous
18.
“I was in a fight with my now ex-boyfriend, and at one point in the argument, I said, ‘Do you need me to reiterate!?’ to which he replied, ‘NO! I want you to repeat yourself!!!’ I then yelled back, ‘What do you think REITERATE MEANS?!’ I’ve never heard such a humiliating silence in my life. It was glorious.”
—crankyoldlady
19.
“My ex told me that the government created ticks (the bugs) so no one could live off the grid.”
—taylermills1
20.
“I once dated someone who pronounced the ‘T’ in buffet when referring to the type of restaurant.”
—Shannon1740
21.
And finally, “I once dated someone who would not accept that people are animals. She kept saying, ‘We’re people! Not animals! How can we be both?!’ She couldn’t understand how we could possibly fall into more than one category.”
—themaninthecave
What’s the dumbest thing someone you were dating said? Tell us in the comments or use the anonymous form below: