Dads have an incredible knack for dropping some of the WILDEST information about their pasts like it’s totally NBD.
1.
“One day, my dad pulled out an old newspaper article about him free-climbing a redwood tree in California to help a parachuter who got caught at the top of it. My dad cut him loose so he didn’t lose blood flow, while my uncle went to find a phone to call 911. Parachuter lived with minor injuries.”
2.
“I found out my dad used to raise and train horses. During one show, a horse kicked him so hard that it broke his leg. He finished the show with a broken leg and wouldn’t let the paramedics cut off his brand-new custom red leather boots. Oh, and he won that competition.”
3.
“When I was 5 years old, my dad took me and my siblings to visit his office. I had fun running around and exploring all the cubicles and boardrooms, making a lot of noise as toddlers and young kids tend to do. Turns out my dad had left that job months earlier, and his boss had been very late with his final paycheck and severance. Dad knew that a major potential investor was meeting his boss that day, and deliberately brought us in to cause chaos during the meeting. Eventually, his boss came out and said to him, ‘You know, it’s really unprofessional to bring children into an office like this,’ to which my dad replied, in front of the investor, ‘You know, it’s really unprofessional to not pay your workers.’ Dad got the money he was owed by the end of that week. “
4.
“Once, my dad brushed his hair back, and I saw a large scar on his forehead. When I asked about it, he said, ‘Oh yeah, that’s from when I was hit by a car as a kid. Cracked my skull open from front to back. Good thing the lady who hit me was a nurse. She basically held my skull together until the ambulance got there.'”
—u/NalaandBuddy
5.
“Not far into his career practicing medicine, my dad had a shifty-looking patient in the waiting room who refused to give his real name and demanded that the front desk use a pseudonym. After a quick exam, my dad gave him a gonorrhea diagnosis. Instead of asking about the infection, prognosis, or treatment, the patient began to threaten my dad, promising consequences if anybody found out. Not expecting the confusion on my dad’s face, he followed up with, ‘Don’t you know who I am?!’ My dad just shook his head, and the patient left briskly. Once the door closed, my dad’s staff let him know that the man was a TV megachurch pastor.”
6.
“As a teen, my dad hot-wired a bulldozer so he could knock a tree (which his brothers had lit on fire) into a river.”
7.
“When my dad was a teenager, he and his friends rolled a bowling ball down a large hill, aiming directly at the open door of a bar. They made the shot perfectly, the bowling ball zoomed right into the bar at max speed, and moments later, a few angry drunks stormed outside in confusion. My dad ran off giggling with his lads.”
—u/Raider_Scum
8.
“Before I was born, my dad was in a rock band. After he left, the band fell apart because he owned all their sound equipment and took it with him. He started getting really good at running sound, and one of his buddies was like, ‘Hey, I was going to run sound for this band on tour, but I can’t, are you interested?’ My dad had to turn it down because he had just married my mom, and she didn’t want him to go. The band in question? Styx. Fucking Styx.”
9.
“When I was 4, there were a bunch of cops on our street one night, and a policewoman let me sit in the front seat to ring the siren. I told that story when I was 25, and my dad chimes in, ‘That was the day the neighbors got busted for making PCP!’ Thanks, Dad, a cherished childhood memory is now tainted by PCP.”
10.
“My dad grew up in the middle of nowhere, and all his cousins lived in the other houses/farms nearby. When they were kids, they came up with this really fun game called Tree Chicken. All but one of them would climb to the top of a tree, while the one on the ground started chopping. Last one in the tree, even if it was falling down, won.”
11.
“When the premier of Ontario got elected many years back, my dad had the news on, looked up, and said, ‘Oh shit, that’s Doug, I used to buy hash off that guy when we were in high school.'”
13.
“When I was 19, I was a cashier, and this woman looked at me funny at the checkout. She said my first name (which was on my ID badge), then she said my last name (which wasn’t on my ID badge). I was alarmed and confused. She said that I ‘look just like him,’ told me her name, and to tell my dad she said hi. ‘He’ll remember me,’ she said, and then left. That’s the day I learned both my parents were on their second marriage.”
14.
“My dad once told me he stole and used the identity of a dead person for several years. He destroyed the ID and resumed his own identity a month before the FBI came looking for him. He never got charged for anything.”
15.
“My dad told me that when he was in high school (late ’60s), he and a bunch of his friends carried the principal’s car into the school and left it. I incredulously asked, ‘What did they do?!’ He looked at me and said, ‘Told us to carry it back out.'”
16.
“My dad was in the Navy during the Vietnam War. He ended up getting booted out because he kept buying venomous things at ports. First, it was some type of snake. It was found during an inspection and thrown overboard. The one that got him booted out was some kind of large tropical spider. The thing got loose, so he would poke around in his locker with a stick to make sure it wasn’t hiding in a uniform. It ended up making it into a bridge officer’s wardrobe, and that was the end of his time in the Navy.”
—u/Grave_Copper
17.
“My dad casually dropped this one when we were on a road trip once. He told us that he stopped practicing criminal law when a client of his, whom he was really invested in, got executed. He only brought it up because we happened to be near the place where the dude’s victim was found.”
18.
“This one was actually from my mom because my dad understandably doesn’t love it. He was a civil engineer in our town before he retired, and one of his big projects was a bridge spanning a large river valley that connected the two main parts of town. It sank.”
19.
“When my dad was in school, he pranked the band kids by rubbing a hot pepper on the mouthpieces. Well, he forgot to wash his hands, so when he went to pee…we’ll just say karma got him back immediately. LMFAO.”
20.
“My dad told me the story of how he got Charlton Heston to give my grandma a phone call. During the Vietnam War, Heston was still one of the biggest movie stars around. He came to Vietnam on a USO tour and ended up sitting on my dad’s tank during a photo opp. After talking to the press, he asked the guys in my dad’s tank if there was anything he could do for them. Jokingly, my dad said, ‘Yeah, give my mom a call and tell her I’m OK,’ never thinking he’d actually do it. It took Heston a couple of minutes to convince my grandma that it wasn’t just a prank that one of my uncles was playing on her. The local paper ran a little story on it, and my mom still has it in a scrapbook somewhere.”
21.
And finally, “When my stepdad was working for NASA, he got asked to go help with something on Jacques Cousteau’s boat, the Calypso. Jacques’s wife made them all a big thing of punch, but it was basically just straight rum. My stepdad ended up getting so drunk that he had to sleep on the top deck of the ship overnight. He just tells this story completely nonchalantly, LOL.”
Has your dad ever dropped any wild stories on you? Share them in the comments! Or if you’d prefer to stay anonymous, fill out the form below. Your response could be featured in a future BuzzFeed post!
