People Are Sharing Parenting Mistakes That Can Actually Mess Kids Up Later In Life

22.

“My parents unconsciously taught me to value external validation over everything else and it has been the cause of persistent depression in my adult life.

“Examples that seem innocent: praising good grades and emphasizing academic achievement. Being inordinately pleased when people said good things about me to them. Encouraging me to apply for awards and scholarships and then being super proud and boastful to others about how amazing I was. Tacking up newspaper articles about me, certificates, etc., all over the house. Writing Christmas letters that were essentially a laundry list of all my accomplishments. Telling me that I could do anything I wanted to or be anything I wanted, that I was exceptional. All this taught me that I am only worth what I can do. It has taught me that I am only as valuable as others deem me to be. Outwardly, I appear poised, accomplished, and successful. Inwardly, I have an exceedingly low, virtually non-existent sense of self-worth. I constantly push myself to do more, achieve more, and earn more accolades. I burn out and have panic attacks. I feel numb inside. I don’t know who I am or what I actually enjoy because I’ve been groomed only to do what others want of me. I  am almost 40 and basically completely lost.”

—u/Bluesiderug