23.
“Queer and agender (AMAB) here. Platonic friendships have always meant more to me than romantic relationships in terms of priority because of how my family was growing up (I’d say this is a fairly common experience for queer people, to be fair). However, I was like that before I decided to explore my queerness. Still, as a ‘straight male’ in my past, I can 100% confirm I have hit on platonic friends and regretted reading into things. At the same time, I’ve been on the other side of it (getting hit on by platonic friends), and I know how uncomfortable it feels. IDK if everyone needs this hard and fast rule; however, if you’re ‘hot,’ the reality is a lot of people will want more than platonic interactions with you.”
“For me, accepting that reality is the first step to figuring out what will work for you in terms of interacting with people you could theoretically get romantic with, assuming mutual interest. I’d also say the extent of things matters — if they approach things respectfully and can handle rejection and not be weird moving forward, the relationship can be salvaged. However, a lot of people (straight men are not alone in this) cannot do that, and I’d assume she’s had enough negative experiences where she felt she had to institute this rule for herself. Basically, it all depends on how you are as a person, and if this makes sense to you, it’s probably for good reason.”
—Anonymous, 33; Washington, DC
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