4.
“Fighting constantly. I think people hear ‘Relationships are hard work’ and assume that means it’s normal to fight all of the time. Disagreements occasionally are normal. Fighting often is not.”
“Most of the fights my ex and I had came from a lack of communication on his part. In his previous relationships, he was more or less expected to bottle his feelings and prioritize his partner’s needs/wants over his own. Which… is bullshit, but also doesn’t lead to a healthy long-term relationship. But instead of bringing up something with me when it bothered him, he’d hold onto it until it exploded. And every time, he would end up saying something that would stab me. Usually, because he misunderstood me or assumed that whatever he was upset about was deliberate on my part or implied something when it didn’t.
In retrospect, I was an idiot to keep it going for as long as I did. It wasn’t constant arguments, but when they happened, they were big. He didn’t like confrontation, so rather than a series of tiny ones to fix things, he’d end up with the occasional massive one from holding onto anger for too long.”
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