People Are Explaining Why Couples Who Date For Years Suddenly Divorce After Marriage

23.

“The transition from ‘me’ to ‘we’ requires the sacrifice of wants and ego. Without a strong foundation of shared experiences, beliefs, and goals, it’s too easy for each partner to pull on their own rope instead of the knot they tied together.
Marriage is not 50-50, it’s 100-100 because both people need to show up fully every day to be a partnership. ‘I want’ gets thrown out the window. ‘We need’ can be a tough compromise.
Finances, housework, playtime, family commitments, health issues — all can work to pull apart a tenuous bond. Self-righteousness causes us to dig in our heels and compete against our spouse instead of supporting our teammate.
Would you rather be right or be happy?”

“When I realized this marriage was forever, I was willing to do the work to carry my share of the load. I surrounded myself with friends and family who were supportive of my marriage and unwilling to talk trash or listen to me complain about my spouse. I learned to accept that he was not going to always behave the way I want him to, and that’s okay. I chased him up that alley for a reason, and now I get to live with what I caught.”

—u/Lybychick