Parents May Not Realize It, But Kids Totally Notice These 6 Things

“Kids notice what you actually value based on what you say and do. This is sometimes different from what you say you value,” said clinical psychologist Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and founder of the site Aha! Parenting.

For example, you might tell your kid that sports are really about teamwork, learning new skills and having a good time with your friends. 

“But then when you pick them up after the game, your first question is, ‘Who won?’” Markham told HuffPost. 

You’ve probably told your child time and time again how important it is to be honest, “but then you have them fib about their age to get a cheaper entrance fee at the amusement park,” she added. 

Children learn values by observing your behavior and then drawing conclusions about what you believe is important, Markham said. 

“Regardless of what you consciously teach them, your children will emerge from childhood with clear views on what their parents really value, and with a well-developed value system of their own,” she added. “We need to articulate our values to ourselves and then our kids ― not just once, but over and over, applying those values to the daily dilemmas our child faces.” 

4. Your self-compassion (or lack thereof).