Online reviews…they can be helpful for finding out if a product or business is worth your time, and they can help you grow a business. BUT THEY ALSO CAN BE FREAKING BONKERS!!!
So, here are 35 online reviews from people who should not be allowed near the internet:
1.
First, some people who leave reviews are REAL pieces of work:
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They might not understand how things work (and your business will suffer for it):
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And they might not tell the whole story (making you look terrible):
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You can file this under “not the whole story” too:
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Some reviewers are just plain weird, like this guy who demonstrated how happy he was with the purchase of these shoes by modeling them on his sex doll:
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There are some real Mensa members out there, too, who will bring down your ranking for no damn good reason:
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This person deducted a star from their review because the containers didn’t come with a sandwich:
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And this genius gave a brand-new business one star…for the most ridiculous reason:
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People who upload photos to review sites aren’t always helpful either:
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Some bad reviews are the owners’ own damn fault (like this one), but they sure aren’t going to help business:
Yep, that is definitely a hamburgr bun with frosting on it!
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Owners can also make the situation worse with their own unhinged responses:
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And I’m not sure automated responses help either:
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This response probably won her some new clients, though:
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While it’s not a good idea for an owner to go off, you can understand somewhat when reviewers just up and lie about what happened:
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Like…I don’t believe Tracy did this:
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And imagine being Monica and seeing this “review”:
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Apparently reviews based on psychic/spiritual energy are a thing:
19.
I had no idea businesses — like this blood donation center — could lose business because of alleged Satanism:
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Like what is with all the reviews with Satanism in them? I’ve never once felt Satan in a restaurant (although I did once feel God in a Chili’s):
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Unsurprisingly, some reviewers can’t help but be openly racist:
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Or if not racist, just straight up insulting:
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You also have to put up with reviews from wise guys:
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You want people to take your product seriously, but instead you get this:
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Or — if they’re not wise guys — they just might be the stupidest people alive:
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Some people turn their review into their personal writing journal:
28.
This guy’s review was the definition of TMI:
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I’m not sure this is the best place to lay all this out there:
30.
And honestly, I don’t know how to respond to this one:
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This place, I’m sure, would do anything to get their reviews taken down:
32.
Ditto for this place (which might actually be the same as above?):
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Even some rave reviews are kind of poinless:
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And some rave reviews…are, shall we say, interesting:
35.
And finally, just when you think you’ve seen it all…you get this: