Men Just Don’t Get These Things About Womanhood, No Matter How Many Times We Try To Tell Them

17.

“My husband, god bless him, always says, ‘You’ve gotta learn to stop being so nice. All these gross dudes think your being nice means you’re into them.’ He’s not wrong. However, as a man, he’s ALLOWED to be a dick to people. He’s not worried about violence if he IS a dick. Women can’t be nice OR rude. A man was talking to me in a Walmart one day and kept following me to talk. I was afraid of being rude, so I didn’t call him out. At one point, he wanted to show me his stomach/chest tattoo and the *one* moment I actually said anything (which was just, ‘Nah, dude, haha, we don’t need to see that…’) he IMMEDIATELY got into a loud/angry voice and said, ‘IT’S NOT LIKE I’M TRYING TO SHOW YOU MY DICK!’ I was finally able to get away because a girl around my age (mid-20s at the time) came over and pretended to be my roommate, saying we needed to get back before ‘the boys’ got home.”

“She offered to follow me out, but she had an entire basket of stuff, whereas I just had lotion and sparkling water. I wish I had accepted because the fucker was waiting outside for me, and he asked me for a favor. I thought he just needed money, so I grabbed my wallet. Then he said, ‘Nah, girl. I don’t need your money. I just want a hug or something,’ so he grabbed me, grabbed my breast, and since I had turned to get away, he managed to LICK MY FACE. I finally screamed, ‘GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, MOTHER FUCKER!’ and swung my bag with what little hand movement I had.

This was 6 p.m. outside of a CROWDED WALMART IN NASHVILLE. People passed by me in the store, staring, giving me the stink eye, but none of them stopped to help, except that girl. Then no one stopped or helped outside. THIS is why women get scared. This is also why you can’t be ‘nice,’ and you can’t be ‘rude’ either.”

—violetnylund