Married Women Are Confessing The “Hardest Parts” Of Marriage That No One Talks About

8.

“One of the biggest things for me has been the concept that I’m no longer alone in decision-making. Meaning, if there’s something important that needs to be done, I now consider my husband’s opinion in addition to how I feel. Getting him to communicate adequately has been a minor struggle, but I come from a family where nothing is held back (because it wreaks havoc on our calm), and his family is very close-lipped. He was raised where talking about issues was rarely, if ever, done. Conversely, my family and I know that if we don’t talk about whatever is bothering us, we will stew in it and wait until it boils over in an emotional explosion. No one likes that, so we did our best to mitigate it.”

“As it pertains to life in general, I had some seriously weird quirks when I moved in with him — and he had some seriously weird quirks, too. For example, the sink and dishwasher are empty, yet his empty coffee cups end up on the side of the sink on the counter? Just put the damn cup in the sink, or better yet, in the empty dishwasher! Come on! (Obligatory: DO YOU WANT ANTS? BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET ANTS.) I had a bad habit of hoarding empty soda cans or water bottles on my desk. We’ve both improved those little quirks for the benefit of each other’s sanity.

I’ll be brutally honest, though. There are some days when I ask myself why I got married to begin with. These days are not the result of being mad or upset with him, but rather of my being weird and self-critical. The thought process goes a little something like this: 1) I’m 28 years old. I could totally be fine by myself on my own. 2) But you love him. 3) ???

Back to blissful married status.

It both surprised and didn’t surprise me when he was talking about our marriage one day, and he said something along the lines of, ‘You know, I don’t think this would ever happen, but I have this fear that you’ll just get bored and leave me.’ I don’t know from what depths of absurdity he pulled that from, but I guess it makes sense?”

—u/Ragekitty