13.
“I was married for 19 years of 22 together, and I’m now in a loving, supportive relationship for two years. The hardest part of any close relationship is accepting and communicating that you might not always be on the same page — even if your goals are the same. My ex and I used to let everything fester for days/weeks and sometimes never really talk about it. Then, we would have a blowup, and nothing would get solved.”
“Now, my boyfriend and I have communicated what needs to happen when we are upset; I need to go for a walk to sort my thoughts, and he needs to dive into a project. We give ourselves a couple of hours to think, and then, we come together and talk, not argue, and resolve or make a plan to resolve. If it’s close to bedtime, we hug, hold hands in bed, and agree to talk the next day. Advice: Don’t nag, get defensive, or be aggressive with your opinions and expectations. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, treat them respectfully, like someone at work, and seek to understand.”
—sharpghost212
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