I Ruined My Boyfriend’s Mum’s Birthday After One Comment. Was I Wrong?

The poster bailed on the family dinner

The original poster (OP), who has been with her boyfriend for a year and a half, says she has an otherwise lovely relationship with her partner and has met his family several times.

But his mother “has never liked me,” despite the author’s efforts. 

“I’m polite, successful, I bring gifts, I make an effort – but she treats me like I’m just some random he picked up off the street.” 

Nonetheless, the Redditor went to her partner’s mother’s birthday dinner recently and even agreed to pay half the bill (the other half was footed by her partner’s siblings). 

But then, the poster wrote, the mother said: ”‘I’m just so happy to be surrounded by family… and some of the newer, hopefully temporary additions.’ Then she looks directly at me and smiles.” 

She looked to her boyfriend and asked if he was going to say something, but he didn’t.

“So I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I told the waiter, ‘Split my items to my own bill please. I’m paying for myself and that’s it,’” she continued. 

Since leaving, her partner has texted her to say she thinks she “made a scene over a joke” and was disrespectful. But she stands by her comments and feels that the interaction has called her relationship into question. 

“It’s not just about a single remark per se, it’s about the meaning behind it.”