Anyway, despite some people feeling deep trepidation at Katy’s brave and arduous expedition, the whole thing lasted maybe 11 minutes. The crew was only in actual space for about 4 minutes, and I’m probably not the only person who is deeply underwhelmed, especially as the trip generated more CO2 emissions than one person creates in an entire lifetime.
To really demonstrate how ridiculous this stunt was, I’ve made a brief list of extremely short things that lasted longer than Katy’s trip to space.
1. The “Mission: Space” ride at EPCOT (15 mins including pre-show)
3. The fastest spin cycle on a washing machine (20 mins)
4. Half an episode of “SpongeBob SquarePants” (12 mins)
5. Preheating an oven (15 mins, feels like an hour)
6. The shelf life of an avocado (barely more than 11 mins)
7. Louis XIX’s reign as King of France (20 mins, Google it)
8. The Uber when it says it’s five minutes away (it’s not)
9. Drying my hair (all morning)
10. The TikTok ban (12 hours)
11. The time it takes me to find a suitable video essay to watch while I eat (until my food goes cold)
12. The double un-skipppable YouTube ads on my video essay (too long)
13. The time it took Katy Perry to get in full glam for her space excursion (probably)
14. The first ever flight by humans in a hot air balloon, 1783 (25 mins)
15. The time it took me to write this list.
And that’s it. Let me know if there are other things I missed, or take some time to vent about billionaires in the comment section. The floor is yours.