Delivery Room Nurses Are Sharing The Red Flags That Make Them Think “This Marriage Is Doomed”

Fortunately, supportive birth partners outweigh the disengaged and outright hostile birth partners, nurses said. But often, there are also confused, nervous partners who could simply be better with more guidance. 

Ideally, Richard said, birth partners should ask their pregnant partner, “What do you think would be helpful if you were in a lot of pain?” before the day their child is born. Some people might prefer to be touched and held, while others would not, and it’s better to talk this out before the high-stakes, stressful situation of labor. 

And when it’s time to give birth, be humble about what you don’t know if you’re trying to be a support person. “A lot of nurses would really admire someone to say, I don’t know what to do, but I want to be helpful,” Guzmán said. 

And if you are pregnant and concerned your baby’s father will make labor a nightmare, Hamilton encourages you to bring someone else, even if that person makes zero sense to outsiders — like a sibling, a best friend or your hairdresser who is always there for you in a crisis. 

“It’s OK to pick someone that others may see as random,” Hamilton said. “Protect your peace. Labor is too hard to bring someone with you who is just going to make it harder.”

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.