Maybe our heist expectations have been a little overblown after the recent Louvre robbery, but I was not prepared for the absolutely random (and hilarious) heist that just went down in Canada last night — in Guelph, Ontario, a city near Toronto. I don’t know if the robbers had the munchies or what, but you’ll never guess what they stole: whipped cream. Yup, you heard that right. And not just a few measly bottles — $80,000 worth of whipped cream. I wish I were making this up.
I have zero idea what they’re planning to do with all that whipped cream. Maybe sell it to local bakeries, start a dessert empire, or stage the world’s first whipped cream wrestling league? Honestly, part of me hopes they just freeze and personally (and slowly) eat it throughout their lifetime. That seems like a power move. I don’t know what they’re thinking, but I’m completely intrigued.
Authorities are just as baffled as the rest of us. Guelph police spokesperson Scott Tracey said, “We won’t know for sure what the motive was.” All we know is that police were called after a trailer full of whipped cream went missing. According to the reports, the robbers simply hooked up a vehicle and drove off with it. And get this…it’s not the first time something like this has happened. The month before, a similar heist got the robbers $35,000 worth of salsa and dip. At this point, I’m convinced these thieves are trying to start a restaurant and got creative after being denied a bank loan.
The internet has plenty of thoughts on the matter, and after I dumped extra whipped cream into my coffee to channel the robbers’ mindset, I just had to share some of the one-liners that had me cackling this morning. This is what the internet is saying:
What about you? What do you think the robbers are going to do with all that whipped cream? I want every theory imaginable, so drop yours in the comments.