4.
“My cousin has said some belters over the years:”
• “He thought Australia (we’re in England) was at least two days in front of us, so he thought he could travel, watch the cricket, and call home to tell us the results and bet without losing. Took nearly an hour to explain his errors and the 24-hour clock.
• When NASA said they had found signs of water on Mars…
10.
“Stores were closed on Sundays.”
—stevensoncrazy
“Closed for the holidays, too. Actually, fully closed for Thanksgiving through the week. Christmas is often the whole week. Lots of folks talk about ‘great again,’ but they gotta…
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20.
“Do a ‘closing shift’ tidy as soon as you’re home from work. Half the time, I don’t even take my coat off while I do this. Just spend five minutes making your space more inviting before you even sit down. You’ll thank…
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12.
“Never trust a dream toilet.”
—shastabh
“Haha, that’s how I find out I’m dreaming a lot of the time. I go to pee, and the pee never stops. Then I’m like, ‘Oh, fuck, I must be dreaming. I wake up and haven’t pissed…
4.
“Passive-aggressive people. Mean people. No time for that nonsense.”
—juniper_berry_crunch
“Yeah, it’s honestly wild how many people are like this. I’ve been told numerous times about how kind I am, but I feel like I’m just doing what…
4.
“That hard work guarantees success.”
—None
“If that were true, there would be an enormous upper middle class. Being a hard worker in most industries leads you to be held back because your productivity is extremely valuable. They promote lazy…