1.
The person whose chili is now in the great Le Creuset in the sky:
2.
The person who learned a valuable lesson about drinking while cooking:
3.
The person who just discovered a brand new flavor of gum:
4.
The person who lived a Larry David-esque nightmare:
5.
The person whose iron is currently burning a hole to the center of the Earth:
6.
The person whose mistake will be immortalized in that parking lot forever:
7.
The person whose seal plush has seen some things… terrible things:
8.
The person who did the slowest of slow cooking:
9.
The person who has to deal with Schrödinger’s lemonade:
10.
The person who gave their AirPod a burial at sea:
11.
The person who’s going to have to wait until spring for payday:
12.
The person who was nice enough to share some dinner with a friendly, not dirty at all lizard:
13.
The person who shall spend the rest of their days stuck inside this bottle:
14.
The person who straight up got screwed:
15.
The person who found a special kind of horror inside their crawl space:
16.
The person who definitely said something they shouldn’t have to the bartender:
17.
The person whose car might just get a snow day now:
18.
The person who just played the world’s worst game of “Where’s Waldo:”
19.
The person whose computer just got gooped up:
20.
The person who had the privilege of training a brand new flavor of cake pop:
21.
The person who added a little spice to their laundry room:
22.
The person who just created a new land formation in their backyard:
23.
The person who will never financially recover from this:
24.
The person who loves their cat very much, I’m sure:
25.
The person who got the sweet taste of cherry menthol in their nuggets:
26.
The person who learned one of life’s oldest lessons:
27.
The person who is straight up about to encounter a Looney Tunes scenario:
28.
The person who murdered a poor, defenseless ketchup packet:
29.
The person whose diploma got bent. Oh, it got bent:
30.
The person whose headphones are really going through it right now:
31.
The person who should never, EVER open this trash can:
32.
The proud owner of a brand new freckle:
33.
The person whose bananas simply unraveled:
34.
The person who ran into yet another Looney Tunes scenario while moving:
35.
The person whose path became the victim of a crime:
36.
The person with the wrinkliest hands around:
37.
The person who loves their dog very much, I’m sure:
38.
The person who just got assigned the world’s worst work email:
39.
The person who will have to wait for Spring to venture out:
40.
The person whose bag is now one with the angels:
41.
The person who will be eatin’ good tonight:
42.
The person whose shoe got turned into DUST:
43.
The person who had a delicious, moldy breakfast:
44.
The person whose breath must’ve been extra stinky today:
45.
The person who made a terrible, terrible mistake:
46.
The person who picked the absolute worst place to park that day:
47.
The person whose washing machine shall wash no more:
48.
The person who learned that rotten eggs are a very, very real thing:
49.
The person who got trapped in a prison of their own making:
50.
The person who added a little extra grit and flavor to their pie:
51.
The person who might want to buff out that scratch on their phone:
52.
The person who saved their beloved succulent…but at what cost:
53.
The person who pulled THIS out of their finger:
54.
The person who got to have a nice, up-close, and personal interaction with their fellow traveler:
55.
The person whose friend’s shoes will be sticking to their passenger seat until the end of time:
56.
The person who had this Looney Toons-esque series of events happen to them:
57.
The person who’s going to be stepping on grains of rice until the cows come home:
58.
The person whose kettle went to the great big tea set in the sky:
59.
The person who had one attempt and guessed very, very wrong:
60.
And the person whose light defies all explanation: