39 Men Who Knowingly Slept With Married Women Are Exposing Everything

13.

“I spent about two years in my late thirties very deliberately only dating and sleeping with married women in ethically open relationships. And while it’s been a few years since the last time, I will still occasionally do so.”

After getting divorced myself and starting to date again, I wasn’t ready to start anything serious. So I was trying to date, and I explained to the woman I was seeing that I just wanted to stay somewhat casual. However, my style was (and still usually is) to be really intimate, connected, and open up lots of deep conversation in addition to sex. I find it challenging to be physical because I take great pleasure in getting to know people in other ways as well. 

Anyway, the result was that I kept finding myself in situations where things got more serious than I intended. My dates were frustrated and confused that we were getting so close, yet I wasn’t ready for any sort of exclusivity or longer commitments.

So, I decided only to date married women in open relationships. I retooled my profile and searches on dating apps and used various other forums for meeting polyamorous or otherwise ENM people. And as I met them, I pretty much told them the paragraphs above, and that what I wanted was to be myself with them and have great sex and connections, but know that they already had the life-partner, husband, house, kids, etc. to return to and wouldn’t want that from me. 

And it worked quite well. I had some really fun sex and was able to do it in my style, and really had a great time with them. Some were in very happy marriages with plenty of sex with their husband, too, whereas some were more in situations where their sex life with their husband wasn’t good, so they had agreements to stay together and get that intimacy elsewhere. Both types were enjoyable in different ways (i.e., ‘you’re an insatiable sex beast that can’t get enough of your husband, me, and even other guys’ energy with the former type, and ‘I’m the stud that can satisfy you in ways you don’t get at home’ with the latter). 

Eventually, my needs and availability for different types of relationships evolved, and I opened up to dating single women again. And I’ve had a range of different relationship structures over the past 15 years, including occasionally still connecting with married women who were ethically non-monogamous.”

—[deleted]