32 Messy People Who Brought The Drama To Family Christmas

24.

“I drove 12 hours to get ‘home’ to my dad’s house, staying five days because he always guilted me for never staying more than two nights. I’m divorced, with grown kids (that were coming in later), so it was just me and him for the first three days. The first day, he told me at noon that he was leaving at 1:30 because he had plans with his lady friend. He invited me to dinner at her house, but told me he was spending the night there. I declined the dinner and planned to have a solo day in my hometown. Annoying that he ditched me, but whatever.”

“I spent my day running errands, came back to his place early, ordered my favorite local takeout, and wrapped presents until I fell asleep on the couch.

THIS MFer…at 5:30 a.m., he got the feeling that ‘something wasn’t right,’ and checked the home thermostat app on his phone. He saw the temp was set at an egregious 71°. Knowing he set it to 68°, he was SURE I had fallen asleep upstairs and had left the gas logs on, and the house was about to burn down with me in it. 

So, he did what any 72-year-old would do with a 45-year-old son staying at his place…THE MAN CAME HOME, JERKED ME OUT OF MY SLEEP ON THE COUCH, AND RIPPED ME A NEW ASSHOLE. I’m talking veins in the neck bulging, spittle flying while he yelled. For 3°!?!? He then spent FIVE HOURS questioning me on everything about my career, personal life, mental health, etc, truly riding my ass.

So yeah, probably the last Christmas I ever ‘come home’ for.”

—IVmeans4