When I was a kid, being an adult sounded like the ultimate upgrade—no bedtime, my own money, cereal whenever I felt like it.
Then it actually happened, and suddenly half my personality became saying “I’ll figure it out” while quietly panicking inside.
So when I found a Reddit thread asking people what no one prepares them for as an adult, I thought it’d be a quick peek. Cut to me realizing I’d just walked into a reality check disguised as a scroll.
So here are 28 people who learned the hard way that adulthood doesn’t come with a user manual, just a bunch of error messages no one warned us about.
1.
“The amount of times you have to stick up for yourself for the dumbest shit.”
2.
“Having fewer and fewer people in your life: People die, move away, marry and disappear, etc.”
3.
“There is always something to do, unfortunately those somethings aren’t fun. Laundry, cleaning, dusting, oh shit the fridge is dirty, ugh, when was the last time I cleaned the oven. Clean those wind sills, clean those baseboards. When was the last time you shampooed your carpet? Oh great the ceiling fan blades are caked with dust that I’m breathing all day.”
4.
“The absolute heartbreak and fear your surviving parent goes through after the death of the other. My father’s cancer took him slowly but very surely over 5 years and I thought my mother would be not shocked when he finally passed away as he was so very,very ill for so long. But that first night without him I slept in their bed holding her and I never will never forget how tiny she felt as I cuddled her – sobbing herself to sleep, I lay awake listening to her sobs give into sleep and worried about her future for probably the first time.”
5.
“Adults are just as illogical, stupid, irrational as children.”
6.
“Being alone a lot. I’ve always been able to entertain myself, but a lot of people are shocked or think something’s wrong with themselves. It’s the norm as a single person to have a lot of time on your hands at home.”
7.
“The distance now between you and your siblings. My little bro used to be my best friend. We live in the same town still but I barely see him.”
8.
“How the world you grew up in becomes a completely different world as you get older. I’m only in my 30s, grew up in the 90s, and the world today is unrecognizable to the one I knew and loved.”
9.
“Hard work and integrity does not always equal success.”
10.
“Making big medical decisions. We were in the hospital in July and I was induced before my due date due to gestational hypertension. I had to go through the induction process for 4 days, being medicated, poked, and prodded and never ended up dilating. The midwife finally sat down on my bed and said “we can keep trying this but I know it’s been painful for you, or we can do the c-section if you are ready to tap out.” Before that, I had absolutely no surgeries or medical procedures.”
11.
“The constant pressure at every stage of your life. Get a good degree. Get a good job. Date. But don’t date too many guys. Get married. But not too young and not too old. Have kids. But not too many. And only if you can afford them. So work. Have a career. Work hard, put in the graft and the long hours. But also keep the house and spend enough time with your kids. And don’t nag. And pay all your bills. And get good quality food. But don’t waste money.”
12.
“How once you’re an adult, everyone just expects you to have it all figured out.”
13.
“Having to undo childhood trauma you didn’t know you had until you built healthy relationships with new people away from your parents. Hits super hard.”
14.
“Watching your kids grow up and knowing that I cannot keep them safe 24/7.”
15.
“As an adult with adult aged children, no one can prepare you for when you get smacked in the face with the knowledge that what you thought your kid’s childhood was is not what they experienced. You can work so hard to provide a safe and loving environment (or so you thought), just to find out they experienced trauma at the hands of trusted family members. Or they struggled with who they are and never felt like they could share those struggles with you.”
16.
“There is never summer break again. For the rest of your working life, and that is a long ass time for most. Enjoy your 2 weeks of vacation.”
17.
“How exhausting it is to constantly manage other people’s expectations on top of your own. Family, work, friends. Everyone has an agenda and it’s kinda draining.”
18.
“There is no ladder (career). We were taught in school or alluded to it being merit based. Do well and get promoted, but every other facet and reason you could get passed by was ignored.”
19.
“Injustice. As a kid, I believed justice actually existed. If you stole and got caught, the victims would get their money back. If you raped someone, you would get a proper sentence. If you had CP or engaged in that behavior, you would receive a fitting punishment. Now that I’ve been on the victim side of fraud, I’ve never been more appalled than when I found out it was up to the fraudster’s defense lawyer to decide whether they thought their client should pay me back or not.”
20.
“How to handle other adults who aren’t emotionally mature/adults who don’t understand the concept of doing wrong. We all had different upbringings.”
21.
“That all the choices you made when you were younger catch up to you. Weren’t great about wearing sunscreen? I hope you’re at the dermatologist at least once a year to find that cancer that will inevitably pop up. Didn’t take care of your teeth/gums or brushed too hard/with a hard toothbrush? Guess what, now you have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for gum grafts. Smoked/drank heavily for a while there? Congrats, you now look 10 years older than your age.”
22.
“How fast your body starts crumbling if you don’t take care of it. Do the exercise, eat healthy and keep your weight under control. You will regret not doing so.”
23.
“How much it sucks being sick and living alone. Do I want to go to Walmart at 6am in a hoodie, no bra, and messy hair for medicine and popsicles? No. I fit right in, but it sucks to have to get up and do it yourself.”
24.
“People stop seeing your potential. Under good conditions, kids are viewed as having the potential to learn, grow, and contribute to the world in amazing ways. There’s a point in adulthood when other people (consciously or unconsciously) decide you are too old, too damaged, and not good enough to make a difference. A child is a miracle waiting to happen; an adult is just another problem.”
25.
“The more and more I talk to people, the more I discover that people have no idea about their own finances. Nobody is really taught how to balance their budgets, plan for big expenses, or even how credit cards/loans work. No, I’m sorry Susan, you cannot carry an $15,000 balance on your credit card and pay the monthly minimum and “be fine”. You’re just paying interest, and you’ll be paying the interest for life!”
26.
“That deciding to choose your own happiness and not let the impending doom of the world plague your mind will make a lot of people really upset with you. People get mad when you choose happiness. My bills are paid, my cat is fed, my job is good, my friendships are strong, and I just beat Silksong at 100%. Life in general sucks, but my life is going pretty damn great right now, and I’m choosing to enjoy it while I have it.”
27.
“The 15 year period in which you and your friends are raising children and/or caring for aging parents, and you literally don’t have time for one another.”
28.
“No one will ever care about you enough that they hope you do better than them in life; unless its your mother/father.”
Text has been edited for length and clarity.