1.
The person whose mouth is very clean now, I’m sure:
2.
The person with the worst luck imaginable:
3.
The person whose apple was aged to perfection:
4.
The person who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time:
5.
The person who learned time’s oldest lesson:
6.
The person who might want to hire new roofers:
7.
The person whose bike shall remain forever locked:
8.
The person who learned the hard way about big ol’ buckets of paint and convertible roofs:
9.
The person whose phone looks like it might as well been sitting in the pharaoh Merenptah’s tomb:
10.
The person who learned their lesson about eating healthy:
11.
The person whose money shall have wrinkles no more:
12.
The person who was betrayed by the very fish tank they loved so:
13.
The person who gave a little roach a beautiful new home:
14.
The person whose cat has absolutely no respect for them:
15.
The person whose very fragile box got a very non-fragile treatment:
16.
The person with the cleanest AirPod this side of the mighty Mississipp’:
17.
The person whose phone was dropped into a portal to Hell:
18.
The person who bit into the strongest grape around:
19.
The person whose air is about to be delicious and yogurt-y:
20.
The person who got a little extra cronch in their beer:
21.
The person whose car at least is getting some good fresh air:
22.
The person who… uh… had to follow this driver:
23.
The person who might just want to avoid ever going outside again:
24.
And the person who got hit with the dread “sop up oils” text: