“Canada is inverse Australia. In Australia, everything looks terrifying, but if you keep your distance, most of it just wants to be left alone, and most of the time, it’s just as terrified of you (except for the birds, they’re just jerks). In Canada, everything looks adorable, very little of it is afraid of humans due to habituation to direct contact because no one respects the danger, and all of it will absolutely rip your throat out.”
“That beaver can chew through a maple tree in minutes, do you want to know what the overgrown lake rat will do to a femur? That moose can walk away from a collision with a semi-truck, weighs more than a small car, outrun you, and will not think twice about turning you into an antler ornament. The deer will not think twice about eating you if you happen to get gored to death. I’m going to say that once again. The Deer. Will Eat. You.”
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