There’s nothing that is simultaneously more challenging and rewarding than parenting. And if you’ve been doing this whole parenting game for a while, you’ve probably picked up a few tricks along the way. Here are some small routines and habits parents have adopted that make a big impact in their everyday lives.
1.
“When my four-year-old starts whining, instead of losing my mind, asking what’s wrong a million times and not getting an answer, I started to fill in what I think he means. For instance, I’ll say, ‘Mom, I’m curious to see what Dad is doing in the garage, I don’t want to miss out!” Most of the time, he’ll repeat what I say, and we can move on to a resolution. Otherwise, he’ll say no, and I’ll try again. I try to remind myself that, yes, he’s bigger now, but he still needs help putting words to his feelings (something that even I still have trouble with as an adult).”
2.
“I turn mundane moments into ‘micro play’ with my kids: For example, rather than just say ‘hi,’ I pick my kid up and spin him in a circle and then hug him super tight and say, ‘is this too tight!? I just love you soooo much!’ Then hug tighter. Usually, there is laughter. It can take as little as 30 seconds and has dramatically improved my relationship with my three-year-old. Also, this type of play makes me feel like the kind of parent I want to be.”
3.
“Before saying no, I ask myself, ‘Is it dangerous or inconvenient?’ I often find myself saying no because I don’t want to deal with the mess, which is still totally valid sometimes, but not all the time. I want to say yes when it’s possible so that my no holds more value.”
4.
“Outlining our plans. Toddlers feel like they have no control. If you outline what’s coming up next, transitions are much smoother. This works 80% of the time, which is good enough for me! When we are in the car on the way home, I tell my toddler, ‘Ok, we are going home.’ When we get home, we first take off our shoes and coat. Then we wash our hands and can have a snack! Most of the time, he will do what we outlined. It actually really works.”
5.
“Every night before I got to bed I make lunch and lay out clothes for the next day. It makes mornings so much easier.”
6.
“Setting up an activity for my three-year-old at night so it’s ready when he wakes up. This gives him something to play with when he’s awake but still a little cranky. It’s usually an independent activity he can do while we get breakfast ready.”
7.
“My kids fold their own laundry. This has made a huge difference in my life. We do one big fold a week. Put on a show and are all together, so it all gets done. The actual quality and state of the drawers/folding is up to then. I want to say I started this when my youngest was six, and I wish I’d started earlier. I would get so overwhelmed with the mountain (doing a little at a time is even worse) and frustrated with putting all the pants right side out, and now it’s all done in maybe twenty minutes, and we cuddle up and finish our show together afterwards.”
8.
“We have a shared family calendar app. This helps reduce some of the mental load of planning appointments, family plans, etc. My husband sees when I schedule things in real time and vice versa, which helps reduce the ‘what are we doing today’ type of questions. 😅”
9.
“My elementary kids are in a bunch of after-school activities. I basically have a big-kid diaper bag in the car filled with snacks, extra water bottles, first-aid kid, headphones, coloring books, hair ties, etc. I try to replenish the night before, and it makes the hours from two to five pm go by much more smoothly.”
10.
“I’m a therapist, and there’s a motto in the field — ‘the slower you go, the faster you get there.’ I’ve been applying this to my time with my two-year-old. Any hurrying, frenetic energy just ultimately slows down the process. Slowing down and prioritizing connection makes a world of difference.”
11.
“I heard this quote somewhere: ‘Don’t try to make a happy kid happier.’ It really altered my thinking about my little one’s needs and our understanding of their happiness, especially in a world where everyone suggests what you need to do or buy to occupy your kid and make them ‘happier.'”
12.
“Cleaning up together. My son is only 21 months old, but he knows how to put his toys away before bed by watching his dad and me do it every night for months. We didn’t intentionally teach him to do it, but he showed us that he could, so now we’re trying to instill more habits in him. Instead of just asking him to clean up before bed, we ask him to clean up between tasks. It’s something like, ‘Hey buddy, you wanna go to the park?’ And when he says yes, then we say, ‘Okay, let’s pick up our toys so we can go!’ Or if he’s playing with his blocks and starts wandering to something different, I’ll say, ‘Look, it looks like you want to play with your trucks now, so let’s put your blocks away so we have room!’ It doesn’t always work, but it works more often than not, and I hope that it’s teaching him how to be tidy, organized, and responsible.
13.
Saying positive affirmations with my kids in the morning, for example, ‘I am intelligent’ or ‘I am amazing’ seems to be working great so far 😊.”
14.
“Getting my toddler involved in chores. She loves helping us with simple tasks, so some of our evenings she’s just helping me put laundry away, playing with the water by the sink while I’m putting away dishes, or sweeping (seriously, our broom is one of her favorite toys). That helps us stay productive, but we still have fun, plus I usually get a quiet evening with fewer chores to do after she goes to bed!”
15.
“This is more for toddler parents, but giving my two-year-old daughter choices has definitely improved our morning and evening routines. She’s been craving independence, so giving an inch of that (do you want eggs or pancakes for breakfast?) while still having some control has been extremely helpful. Granted, it’s not a 100% success rate, just like us little kids have bad days where the answer is ‘no’ no matter what, and battles are picked, but it has made her more excited to be a part of her routine overall.”
16.
“Giving countdown reminders before transitions in activities, for example, ‘ten minutes until we have to dress for school.’ There’s still some resistance if he wants to stay home on the weekend before our activities, but the meltdown frequency has gone radically down!”
17.
“My husband and I have grumpy tendencies and are not always full of sunshine. I recognized this and wanted to fix it. One rule I have made, and my husband usually adopts, is that in the mornings, we greet our children with happiness, a hug, and an I love you. No exceptions.”
18.
“Hiking. We started taking our little one hiking at two, and by four, he could cover around seven miles on his own. He’s confident, carries himself well whenever we go on trips, has learned to appreciate the journey, is quiet in nature, and pushes himself towards a goal. We forage together, and he loves spotting things and categorizing them. All great stuff for development.”
19.
“Having a family dance party every morning. We usually just take 10-15 minutes and go through three or four songs, but it’s a happy moment to be silly, get our blood flowing, and have fun together. Sometimes we choose disco music, sometimes funk, sometimes tango. It teaches them that nothing is too weird or silly, promotes body positivity, and is a great way to start your day! Especially if you aren’t into it but do it anyway. It cheers you right up, and you have a few minutes of exercise in already.”
20.
“Reading. First reading out loud together to sit comfortably together, each with our own book and a snack plate.”
21.
“Since my kid could hold a knife, we have cooked together as a family. Not every day, of course, but often. This has resulted in, among other things: A healthy relationship with food: healthy choices, portion control, etc. My kid has made his own lunch for school since fifth grade (he’s in high school now). He has, on his own accord, taken turns planning and executing dinners (when both of our parents are at work until 6 pm, dinner is ready and waiting for us!!) You cannot imagine how destressing this has been for morning routines, among other things.”
Now it’s your turn to add yours! What’s a small parenting habit or routine that has made a significant difference in your life or the life of your kids? Tell us in the comments below, or in this anonymous form.