1.
The person who will not be traveling today:
2.
The person who loves their kids very much, I’m sure:
3.
The person who had a big giant thing from presumably the heavens fall on their AC:
4.
The person whose house no longer belongs to them:
5.
The person whose ice cream was sampled by a BARBARIAN:
6.
The person who was kind enough to share their sandwich with some tiny friends:
7.
The person who loves their cat very much, I’m sure:
8.
The person who will NOT be getting a “bless you” from me today:
9.
The person whose window just got a hip new make-over:
10.
The person who might want to take up a life of crime:
11.
The person who picked the wrong place to pee:
12.
The person whose giant feet exude power:
13.
The person who is about to be patient zero for a brand new illness:
14.
The person who lost mankind’s eternal war:
15.
The person who got a special little happy surprise at the bottom of their coffee:
16.
The person who fell victim to the ol’ popcorn or filling trick:
17.
The person who is about to become your worst nightmare on the road:
18.
And the person whose pizza is an affront to all things good and Italian: