18 Extremely Awkward Hookup Stories That Had Me Cringing And Cracking Up At My Desk

17.

“We’re back at his place after a solid date — good conversation, good vibes — and I’m thinking, okay, maybe this man is normal. We’re kissing on the couch, it’s getting a little heated, and he goes, ‘Want some music?’ and I’m like, sure, cute, set the mood. He goes, ‘Alexa, play something sexy.’ Alexa, without hesitation, BLASTS a children’s playlist. Like ‘Baby Shark’ adjacent. At full volume. In the middle of that moment. I freeze. He freezes. And then Alexa, like she’s determined to ruin my life, goes, ‘By the way, did you know you can enable voice purchasing?’ I start laughing because my body physically cannot handle the cringe. He panic-yells, ‘ALEXA STOP,’ but she doesn’t stop. She just gets louder, like she’s auditioning to be the chaperone.”

“Finally, he unplugs the whole speaker like it’s possessed. Silence. We’re just sitting there, disheveled, staring at each other, while ‘Baby Shark’ echoes in my soul. And then, this is the worst part, his roommate walks by, looks at the unplugged Alexa on the floor, looks at us, and goes, ‘You guys okay?’ I wanted to evaporate like a vampire in daylight. He tries to recover with, ‘So… Where were we?’ But I swear my soul left my body and filed for emancipation. Later that night, I learned that ‘Baby Shark’ was playing because the guy has a son and he spends time at his place. Let’s say he forgot that important part of his story, so I left and never talked to him again.”

—Val_Rossi