17 “Normal” Things Women Quit Doing After They Realized They Were Exhausting

“I gave it a solid shot for a year, and in terms of stats, I don’t think I fared too badly. I would get at least a few likes every day, but something about it didn’t sit right with me, and I couldn’t figure out why at the time. My mood at the time was so low despite the likes and matches. I would feel anxious every time I even looked at the app’s icon, and when I did open the app, I would constantly look over my profile, wondering how I came across.”

“I felt disheartened at the low effort I saw on the profiles I looked at, and even more so when it came to talking stages, where I’m trying to bring up interesting topics but getting bland responses, feeling like maybe I had to tone my personality down and try to decipher what they would find appealing. When I decided to be impulsive and go on a date with someone who asked immediately, wondering if skipping the talking stage altogether would help, it was perhaps the most boring and uneventful first date in history.

After a year, I felt particularly low, and when I told my friends, their only advice was to try a different app. I can’t describe the feeling of the weight being lifted off my chest when I deleted the app. I realized I want someone to know me and fall in love, rather than see a few pictures and shallow prompts and make a quick decision without truly getting to know a person. Now, despite being 29, knowing I’ll turn 30 this year and still never having been in a relationship, I know I’ll never go back on a dating app, and I still feel so much happier without it.”

—u/the_starlight_girl